Archive for September, 2007|Monthly archive page

We Won, Yessss!! We Won!!

As one of my friend would say later, ‘Watta match!! Watta match! If you had asked me if a girl’s kiss is better than this – I would have disagreed completely!!’

Let me say at the outset, that this match and the tournament was won because of only one man – Ajit Agarkar. Thank Goodness, he was on the bench. Else, I doubt if we could have reached the semis. So, let’s just take a bow to this great man for the greatest contribution he has ever made to the Indian Cricket.

Billed as the greatest final that was ever to happen, the match lived up well and truly to its expectations. No one, either in the stadium or across millions of homes in India and Pakistan would have asked for a better match – a match that went right down to the last over – a match where the quality of batting, bowling and fielding was outstanding – a match which starkly reminded me of Miandad’s last ball six (which thankfully, did not happen) – and finally, a tournament final which did not end up as an anti-climax where one side would romp home with victory (as has been the case usually)!! Could I have asked for anything better on a Monday evening – Absolutely not. I was on the edge of my chair all throughout the match – instructing (actually ordering) my friends in the room not to move an inch from their places till the match was over (Not that the stars and future of the match was entirely dependent on the seating arrangement of a few people in a room – but where passion overtakes sense, logic is out of the window).

As the ball went sailing over the rope in the last over of Kaka Joginder, silence prevailed in India while jubiliations would have begun in Pakistan. It was all a matter of one wicket or a six. Probably the only person in the world who had to hear more abuses than Agarkar was Kaka Joginder in that particular moment. Then, it happened. Misbah’s “mind running like a computer”(I will come to this phrase later) crashed – generating a serious error of trying to scoop the ball over fine leg instead of hitting that lollipop-half-volley-decent pace ball over the bowler’s head for a six. Psycho Sreesanth held on to the catch and only just (if he had dropped it, then probably that would have been the end of his career after his magnificient 4 overs for 44 runs is a totally different matter). India celebrated, Misbah cried and Pakistan was shocked. Kaka Joginder redeemed himself to do the jig along with Harbhajan and Pathan during the lap of honour. Crackers were burst, People screamed and when we had dinner at some restaurant later, everyone was in a fantastic mood – smiling, hi-fis and boisterous laughter. It was one party!!

Everything that happened for India and Pakistan in this tournament happened for their own good – Pakistan have found a deadly pace combination in Asif, Umar Gul and Tanvir – if nurtured properly (instead of hitting around with bats and getting into squabbles) would become fearsome. Misbah is more than an ideal replacement for Yousuf (although I cannot say he has a long bright future ahead of him – he’s already 33!) and an able and a fantastic leader in Malik. For the Indians, the biggest gain has been the pace attack, Rohit Sharma and Kaka Joginder (who’s fate is similar to Misbah). Dhoni’s silent thumbs-up to Harbhajan after he bowled Michael Clarke during the nail-biting India vs Australia match is more than a sign that he is here to stay – lest, politics do him in. Needless to say, this signals the end of Agarkar’s career whose only credit is that he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory countless number of times!!

Now that India has won the Cup, I need to ask a few questions to a few people – not that their answers would matter – but then, let me exercise my right as a blogger –

Shoaib Malik – How did you assume Muslims around the world are supporting you to win? India has a sizeable population of Muslims and they celebrated India’s victory yesterday probably more than the other communities did (I am sure you missed seeing Irfan Pathan on Yousuf Pathan’s back enjoying every moment of their victory!!). Why bring in religious fervor and stupid comments to such a wonderful match? Beats me.

Ravi Shastri – What’s with your cliches nowadays? Have you run out of them? You used ‘his mind is running like a computer’ probably 5 times in 5 minutes of your commentary. Others include ‘Going right down to the wire’ (still can’t see the wire), ‘Anybody’s game’ and your oft-so-used-to-death ‘Game on’. You better ‘go back to the drawing board’ and invent new cliches. Please!!

Harsha Bhogle – Dear o dear! What was wrong with you in this tournament? You were so insipid and were looking for words – ‘Oh! Misbah has hit the ball over the rope, I just can’t describe how he hit the ball’ – I guess your job is to do that. Once or twice, I can understand – the statement was repeated across multiple players in multiple matches. Is it ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’ scenario here? Improve oh dear, Kindly do. So many people in India admire you.

Psycho Sreesanth – I mean whatt!! I guess Dhoni does a security check on you before you step on to the ground, lest you draw out a pen-knife and slice Hayden or some other player. I guess you need to turn your aggression inwards and develop more consistency – else, you are a ‘gonner’!!

Freddie Flintoff – It is just not ok to blurt ‘I will hit your face, you just wait’ to Yuvraj. Back it up and please, to a team of jelly-bean throwers and whiners of ‘too much away from home’, this attitude would not work – Nope it won’t.

Sunil Gavaskar – For once, I guess you should have appreciated that India won – whole-heartedly. We can completely understand that you are grief-stricken that Sachin did not play a part in this ‘important historical event that happened after 24 years’ but please – for once, could you stop saying ‘Both teams deserved to win’ and say that ‘Indians played a magnificient game under an able captain to win comprehensively. Deserved winners’!! Could you? Somehow pessimism overtakes my usual highly optimistic behavior when it comes to you.

Ajit Agarkar – Oops, sorry! No questions Sirr!! You have played very well. You have motivated the team very well from the trenches (Imagine, players saying to each other – however worse, we can’t get worser than him, pointing to Agarkar). No sir, seriously – thank you very much. I don’t think you should have expected a better farewell than winning this Twenty20 world championship.

Yeee!! Twenty20 is here to stay. The 50-over match on Sep 29th between India and Australia already sounds boring!! 🙂


Keep ‘Marriageable’ off your radar!!

40000. Yes, 40000. No, I am not mentioning any salary figure – those were the number of marriages conducted on a single day around a week back in one particular state in India. 40000!! I mean whatttt!! Mind-boggling is not the word. However, number of marriages on a particular day is not the subject matter of this blog.

The statements made pre-marriage (just before and after engagement but before marriage) and post-marriage (till 6 months after marriage) is!!
Over the years, I have learnt quite a few pearls of wisdom dealing with ‘marriageable’ (pre and post) people – and I felt it would make immense sense to share these with my dearest blog readers.

1) I met this friend of mine (a girl) at a multiplex. She came along with some guy I didn’t recognise (a first-time meet). After exchanging the usual pleasantries of ‘Hi’s and ‘How are you’s, she moved in for the kill.

She: So, this is my fiancée Amit.
Me: Hey Amit! Nice to meet you!
She: So….
Me: So… (still didn’t get the clue, I was waiting for her to start/end some topic)
She: So….(desperately rolling her eyes, screaming silently)
Ah…I pick the clue, albeit a trifle too late!
Me: Hey!! Both of you look lovely to-gether. You make a great pair.
She: Ah!! (smiling with vanity) That’s nothing. But anyways Thank you Thank you.

That was it. I had to push off before the next ‘So…’ 🙂

2) I still can’t fathom why people getting married (and immediately after marriage) state the obvious ever so often. Am still amazed. Few examples to substantiate.

a) He/She: We are both so happy being to-gether. He/She makes me so happy, we are perennially on a laugh riot. So comfy with each other you know.
Me: Oh..that’s great!! (To myself: if you weren’t happy/comfy to-gether then you would have got divorced or not got engaged at all – you silly!!)

b) He/She: So many things change post marriage you know. I thought that I would never change for that one person coming into my life. I am glad I was proved wrong.
Me: Ha ha ha! (To myself: Why the laugh, I have no idea! They just expect this reaction. Probably I was just laughing at his/her foolishness of feeling vain in proving themselves wrong. How stupid! Ha ha ha!)

c) He/She: It is like we were made for each other. Both of us were like ‘Why didn’t we meet each other before?’ types. It’s so much fun you know!
Me: Ha ha ha! That’s very interesting! (To myself: What’s interesting…Don’t ask! And No, I don’t know. And why didn’t you meet each other before – that is because you had to hammer(bore) me with this statement and many more statements to come. That’s why!)

3) Also, I still can’t understand why they don’t get literal and state the obvious in certain situations – say like what happened during honeymoon? Why? No clue. Probably it was too boring, and that is why they don’t want to share it. However, I am all ears to hear this OBVIOUS part, although it’s boring – all my time, all my ears to it…No, Seriously :)!!

4) Never ever enter these ‘marriageable’ people home(whether they be friends/relatives, anyone for that matter). They will either kill you by

– Showing you different types of dresses/jewellery/why they chose one wedding card over another/food items for marriage (in pre-marriage scenario) or
– Submerge you with reams and reams of wedding photographs with ‘So…how is this photograph? The lighting was not proper, no?’, ‘So…how are we looking in this photograph?’(post-marriage scenario)

You get what I mean. So…AVOID by all means.

5) One common, most common statement I have heard (and got terribly bored over the years)

He/She: You know why there are so many rituals, functions during marriage…mannn, it’s so tiring.
Me: Ya! (And before I finish my short yet sweet syllable)
He/She: And that is why I guess divorce rates are much lower in India. Who in their right mind would want to go through all the trouble (all functions/rituals) all over again. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha (If I don’t cut him/her off, they would continue the saddd joke and their laughter to infinity)
Me: Yes, Yes..completely agree…the customary laugh…Ha, ha and a ha…So, when you knew that there were so many rituals/functions, why didn’t you opt for a register marriage…so easy and simple, you know…and by your logic, you can get married again and again (A wisecrack indeed…or so I thought)
He/She: A wry smile (didn’t know what to say; they somehow seem to change the entire marriage topic after that statement…still wondering why! ;))

Those were a few of my encounters with ‘marriageable’ people. I know it is a never-ending topic, but then I am not yet in the ‘marriageable’ category (if you get the drift ;)). Not just yet. And if you thought that knowing all the above, I would not be making such stupid/foolish statements and not state the obvious when my time comes – you are very wrong. I am a firm believer in compound interest and I shall have my REVENGE (if you know what I mean, Beware!!) :))

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