THE ULTIMATE TRUTH

I love photographs, especially old photographs where I was a little toddler, handled by different uncles and aunts, grandpas and grandmas and of course parents in different poses and backgrounds. As is the case with most of us, I too have a huge album of photographs consisting of the entire family – father’s side, mother’s side – probably from the time my mother and father were kids. The favorites are the ones with my cousins with almost all of them with crazy poses – the one where I am eagerly looking to eat the cake, while my similar-aged cousin of 8 was trying to celebrate his birthday, the one in the fields of my village where I had put on my uncle’s sunglasses with almost nothing but a short on, the one where three cousins of mine were fighting with each other as to who should play the car race and many many more. I am sure everyone has his/her own set of photographs and lovely memories.

Each photograph had a story. Even the very old faded ones, torn ones of the 1950s and 1960s had a story. These stories connected to another set of stories and and them to another and this whole series made for a very interesting conversation, and given the time, the discussions would go on for a long long time. Some of these photographs also had counter-stories – one uncle would have one story connected to one photograph and an aunt would have a conflicting story with the same photograph. And therein, ensues a debate which is even more fun and battle-lines are drawn for a discussion which could cover an entire evening. During the good ol’ days, a family photograph meant an event which covered the entire evening. We had to get dressed up very neatly, some elder would seek appointment with the photographer and we all went, the entire family walking down the street to the photographer’s shop. It was an event everyone looked forward to, a merry event – and considering the cameras of those days, you always had the photographer grumbling – aahh, little this side, little that side, don’t tilt your head to the left, lift your head up, ahh..smile and then a click. Everyone waited for three days for the photographer to deliver the photograph with bated breath and then would converge to discuss the pros and cons of the photograph, interspersed frequently by how bad the photography was and promises by anyone and everyone that the next photographer should be a better one.

I look at the recent photographs too – the ones before the digicams became widely prevalent and we all had to expend probably 250 bucks to get a film roll and then get it washed (as they used to call it). Every photograph taken was precious and there were very few and far in between. The ones of Intermediate and Engineering immediately come to mind – and even today, when friends meet up, the discussions about some of the photographs go on and on – from ‘how in the world did I wear such a dress for such an important occasion?’ to ‘how stupid was that’ – but more often than not, feel happy about some memories which remained.

In the current scenario, where everyone with a digital camera thinks himself as an expert in photography (not to mention his favorite hobby as photography), the value of photography probably might have gone up but the value attached to those photographs has drastically dwindled. An age where digicams are inexpensive, the photographs taken are reviewed immediately and the cost attached to each photograph is next to zero – the photographs in itself have lost most of their significance. The number of photographs taken has multiplied, while the importance of each photograph has probably been divided by infinity.

The number of photographs taken for any trip of 3 days is close to 400 (I along with my friends were guilty of this!). It goes into our hard drive after one, probably two looks and then….bham! I have no clue when we would open the folder containing these photographs again. 400 photographs – that probably would be the number of photographs taken in a marriage function in the old days – each photograph carefully treasured in an album, the album in itself covered in some cloth and each time the album was taken out, it was a moment of occasion, of stories and counter-stories again. Not so now. I am also saddened at the state of younger toddlers today. They would have no means to hear some stories and scenarios connected to their photographs – the number of photographs would have been so many in number, he would just see them as a movie – no narratives, no chronicles, plain old one threaded seamless movie (to quote an example again, my colleague has 200 photographs of his 2-week old daughter – I rest my case!). With handycams too within the reach of most of the population, the children of today needn’t even connect the digital photographs – it is in a movie format alright!!

Poor young toddlers of today – they would never know what value a half-torn photograph holds neither will they know how valuable a family photograph is. Probably, they don’t have time for all such things in this uber-competitive world….Really??

A few years ago, I was taught a theory which had revolutionized the field of behavioral sciences back then. It was called the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Abraham Maslow developed a model in which basic, low-level needs such as physiological requirements and safety must be satisfied before higher-level needs such as self-fulfillment are pursued. In this hierarchical model, when a need is mostly satisfied it no longer motivates and the next higher need takes its place.

Maslow’s Hierarchy:

Similarly, circa 2008, there has been an effort to publish a fantastic theory after tons and tons of effort (i.e., after generous amounts of drooling over Ayesha Jhulka in JJWS and breaking my head over a Quentin’s movie, Deathproof) which talked about the bread and butter of corporate lifestyle, ‘outstanding gibberish’ (colloquially also known as bullshitting, crap, baloney, drivel and various other 4-letter words). The author, after due consideration over a box of chips, concluded that ‘crap’ cannot be classified under a hierarchy but the tools to generate this crap definitely can. What’s more – he also intelligently deciphered that he uses many of these tools quite liberally, primarily to feed himself if not to write insane theories like this one.

The theory (as indicated in the figure below) states that the more nonsense you want to speak, the higher you go up the hierarchy. The effort of every corporate employee should be to step up each level, without which the primary and lofty objective of speaking rubbish all the time wouldn’t be achieved (and in fruition for that effort, this theory should be mandatory in all HR initiation programmes). Refer the diagram below -

My Hierarchy:

The figure in itself should be self-explanatory. But since the author is already at the highest level, he can’t but help reiterate and explain the self-explanatory figure in a verbose manner for the next few paragraphs.

Level 1: These are the most basic tools that are used by anyone and everyone today. Tools, without which most of the corporations won’t survive, let alone flourish. These tools are comparable to Maslow’s 1^st level – basic physiological needs, without which a man can’t proceed to the next level in either of the hierarchies. Especially, Solitaire in the author’s hierarchy.

Level 2: This is the introductory and crash course to ‘ridiculous garbage’ at the corporate level. People who are at this level need to be careful to speak their mind (in other words, total crap) since they need to back it up with numbers (else, your situation would be similar to Tushaar kapoor’s in Terminator 4 – badly beaten up, beyond recognition!!). Numbers could be fudged, but they (the ‘evil’ auditors) can easily make out and throw you out of this cozy corporate world into the big bad world. However, this is a very good introductory course – comparable to Maslow’s Safety needs – whenever in trouble, fudge and fall back on this level – it is an awesome safety net and most people fear to tread at this level. (If ever you get bored of looking at those 65536 cells, search for ‘Excel games’ in Google )

Level 3: An advanced course, and a definite signal that you are on your way to be knighted very soon with ‘Legendary bullshitter’ title. Hardwork is a necessity though at this level. Understanding numbers and translating them into reams and reams of paragraphs, the sole objective being – to be seen by all but not to be read by any one. A few diagrams (from Level 1) and some tables (from Level 2) constitute the basis for Level 3 – and as they say in Mathematics, they are necessary but not sufficient. Your written skills would be tested here – how lengthy can you write, how confusing can you write, how verbose can you be and can you use all the GRE words learnt in this document. A challenging assignment neverthless. Again, definitely comparable to Maslow’s Social needs – sense of belonging and acceptance to the ‘League of Extraordinary Ridiculous People’!!

Level 4: The ultimate, The highest, The best and my verbal ability falls short of superlatives for this tool. ‘It all depends on the way you present data’ – in other words ‘You can fudge all you want, but get me a positive decision’ – if you are in this kind of world, then this is the tool for you. The more you want to speak nonsense, the more you want to explain self-explanatory diagrams in a verbose manner (like this one), the more you want to spend corporate time having fun by moving text from left to right or zigzag around – the more you belong to this level. As I said before and I reiterate (that is because I have nothing else to say), if you want to be considered as one of the ‘kids with potential to become a CEO’ – you exactly understand that this is the proficiency you need – oratory and powerpoint skills. The most abused tool of the lot (as a side note, I once had one of my colleagues present 16 graphs on a single slide!!), definitely comparable to Maslow’s Esteem and Self-actualisation levels put to-gether. Proficiency and expertise at this level would confer you with the title of ‘Legendary Bullshitter Mr./Ms.’ and you would be royally drafted into the ‘League of Extraordinary Ridiculous People’.

Whenever I am in grave doubt, I turn to ‘the one’ source. Whenever I need to make an important decision, I turn to ‘the one’ source. In this age where there is an acute shortage for real spiritual gurus, my only respite is this online spiritual guru of mine - the mind-bogglingly intelligent, outrageously hilarious..err..poignant rediff message boards.

In the near future, I shall dedicate a complete post to this Master of mine, but for now, peruse this priceless information to secure a H1 (working visa for the USA) -

Due to so-called ‘busyness’ on the professional front, I am unable to spend much time thinking about any topic to an extent that I can dedicate a blog to it. The ‘Random Thoughts’ series of blogposts are going to be quickies, and quickies though efficient, lack finesse! Apologies.

1) The past week has been a Nostalgia week. I accidentally happened to browse through my chat conversations on both yahoo and google. My, my - it was one emotional roller coaster. What started off as 5-10 refreshing exercise turned out to be an endeavor close to 3-4 hrs spread over couple of days! Conversations, letters - some which I read twice, maybe thrice and some which didn’t even matter; Photographs - some which I wanted to frame and keep them in my bedroom, and others which I despised; Letters - some so genuine that tears trickled down, some so sham and artificial, I wondered why I even had stored them. Some thoughts evoked a feeling of ‘The world seems to have drifted a thousand miles and left me alone’, while others ‘Mann! I couldn’t have said that’ types. As happens with nostalgia, you feel happy and sad at the same time - with some thoughts still active, others dormant and most of them dead.

2) I might not be qualified to say this - but I find some of the things newly-weds do absolutely hilarious. To the risk of sounding cynical- ‘Oh! We went out for dinner. It has been 3 weeks since we got married and we thought it was time for celebration’ - Some achievement, eh? Oh my God! Look, people said we couldn’t even get along for 3 days and now we have completed 3 weeks!! Bah! Another distinct feature of newly married couples - When they sit in a group, they slyly look at each other and smile, wink and to top it all, try to ensure that noone else in the group has noticed that! I mean c’mon - if you slyly look at each other for 30 min out of a 45 min gathering, others are bound to notice you guys. And We know what you guys are thinking and smiling about - we exactly aren’t products of immaculate conception, are we? So, how about some ‘actual’ social gathering rather than a ‘sly’ social gathering!

3) I haven’t been getting much time to read books lately - but I am stealing a read here and there. I would definitely recommend Khaled Hosseini’s ‘Kite Runner’ and ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ - both extremely well-written and gripping. Given the current state of Afghanistan, these two books give an excellent perspective of the state.

4) Some of the readers’s comments I received through my email - would like to put them here

a) ‘Why are majority of your short-stories based on this boy-girl theme? You write them well…so why can’t we have a diverse set of topics?’

My response: Well, probably it has to do with my age However, will definitely keep your comment in mind whenver I embark on a short-story.

b) ‘Can we have more posts like ‘State of Indian education system etc?’

My response: More such posts found on Desicritics.org. I write about generic topics on that site; I put in one or two such articles on this blog. I would definitely love your comments on that site too.

She was dialing the number for the nth time – and for the nth time, she received the same response. ‘Welcome to Haystack Apts. We appreciate your patience, please hold on till the operator comes online’ and the irritating music…ta daa tadaaa taddaadaaaa

Wait! Where are you taking me? Leave me alone. I want to be left alone – No, I don’t want to go anywhere; I am fine here; Leave me alone…leave me…

She: Why the hell doesn’t he purchase a cellphone? It would be easier to reach him. I am sick and tired of this music and this standard message. Let me try once again!
‘Welcome to Haystack Apts. We appreciate your patience, please hold on till the operator comes online’ and the irritating music…ta daa tadaaa taddaadaaaa

Why have you put me in this dark room? I cannot see a thing here. Why am I here? This place looks so eerie and scary. Take me out of here! Somebody out there??? Savee meee!!

She: Let me get hold of this guy this time, am going to tear his brains out – I am tired of listening to this music all the time – are the operators in their bloody evening siesta? Why the hell doesn’t someone pick up the phone?
Let me try one last time -
‘Welcome to Haystack Apts. We appreciate your patience, please hold on till the operator comes online’ and the irritating music…ta daa tadaaa taddaadaaaa
She: Aaarrgghhh!!

No food, no water – how am I supposed to live! Oh God! What kind of predicament is this? Why have I ended up in this situation? This is close to hell – no, someone, someone please get me out of this situation…someone out there?!!

She: I am getting more frustrated. What is wrong with the apartment folks and…and…why is he put up in this apartment?? Couldn’t he find a better apartment or even better, why doesn’t he buy a cellphone for himself? Beats me.
It’s been quite some time since I spoke to him. Let me try one last last time!
‘Welcome to Haystack Apts. We appreciate your patience, please hold on till the operator comes online’ and the irritating music…ta daa tadaaa taddaadaaaa

Wait! Where are you taking me again? Why am I made to sit in front of a tank of water? Nooo…blurp blurp blurp…I can’t breathe!! blurp blurp blurp…what are you guys doing to me? blurp blurp blurp…what do you want? Why are your torturing me like this? Noo….blurp blurp blurp…I am going to die this time…ahh…blurp blurp blurp…

She: This one last time – and I am gonna commit a murder – Operator or him – First come, first serve basis!

‘Welcome to Haystack Apts. We appreciate your patience, please hold on till the operator comes online’ and the irritating music…ta daa tadaaa taddaadaaaa
Operator: Thanks for holding. Your request ma’am?
She: Room No. 404, K please!

Phone rings! K jumps out of his bed and sleep!!

K: Uh darling! I just went through a nightmare without hearing you all these days! Thank god you called.
She: But K! it’s been only a week since we spoke!
K: Well, a week is long time – a very long time for me sweetheart!
She: You know what K, you are such a damn fool!
K: :-*
She: :-*

I was shocked the other day when my cousin told me that her daughter (3 yr old) studying in Nursery had 9 subjects to study. 9 subjects in a Nursery class??!! I cannot imagine myself to have studied so many subjects in 10th class, Nursery is too far to call. My cousin goes on to say that her daughter had to answer a set of 30 questions to get through an exam - Who is the Prime Minister of India, Who is the President of India, Which bird can fly backwards and such like. I had only one question for her - did the school teach the student her home address, her school address, names of her parents, home phone number - information which is critical for a child of such young age? Given the state of politics in our country, why would I want to know the Prime Minister of India if the same changes every couple of years, if not less? I would rather learn the capital city of my country, capital of the state which I live in - information which is much more stable, information which is useful. The nursery kid is not going to a quiz contest, is she?

I also read about one of the schools in Hyderabad which started of an ‘Integrated IIT course’ for kids of age 11. Needless to say, competition caught up and now there are dozens of schools which ‘specialize’ in this course. I personally did not know a school called ‘IIT’ existed till I cleared the IXth class (maybe I was too ignorant!). Parents pay astronomical amounts of money to send their kids to these courses just to keep ahead of a Mrs. Verma’s kid, who is after all going to a normal course. These courses, by their very name and schedule send shivers down my spine. Classes from 8 to 8 and then lots of homework - when is the kid to enjoy a game of cricket, sit on the terrace and enjoy the stars at night, listen to nuances of life from their grandparents, read about what is happening in the country, discover authors like Enid Blyton - no, the only aim of parents nowadays is to see their kids get into IITs - as if, that was the only way to salvation (if it is, then I don’t want it! And seemingly what I hear from my friends in/from IIT, it isn’t - not by a long shot).

Probably I am a little too old-fashioned, but when has this ‘going to tuitions’ become a trend? As far as I remember, when I was in school (not too long ago, 10-11 years back), going to tuitions was actually an insult. Even if students went, they went very discreetly. There was a social stigma attached to it - if you are going to tuitions, then you are dumb! Period. Students who were smart picked up every subject in school itself, and tuitions were a strict no-no. But today, the trend seems to have reversed. Going to tuitions has become the norm, and students who don’t go to tuitions are the ones left out in the race (what race, which race…don’t ask me, I have no clue!) School from 9 to 5, tuitions from 6 to 9 and then finish homework - no wonder, I see no kids playing cricket, flying kites, cycling around the streets with no purpose any longer. Sad state of affairs - and thankfully, I am not a part of it (but my kid would be - that is my worry!) [Tuitions have become such a roaring business - from LKG to Engineering, Medical nowadays - considering the burgeoning student population, it's not a bad business proposition at all].

I still remember - when I was of age 11, studies was my least of worries - I was more concerned with how will my team win the next cricket match next evening, what is for dinner, how should I not allow the benchmate to occupy my space on the bench at school, will my mom give me 50 paise so that I can buy the ice-cream outside school etc. I spoke to a kid sometime back and all he was asking me/talking to me was what should he do to score cent percent in mathematics, are board exams really important to get into IIT, how competitive is the world - he was a kid of age 12. Tragic, but true. My father used to tell me various stories (for the sole purpose of killing the fear of water within me) to teach me swimming, my elder cousin used to teach me how things get done in the outside world and suchlike. Kids nowadays have only one thing in mind - to climb the ladder as fast as possible - my only worry is they have no clue which ladder they are going on!

It is erroneous on my part to blame the Indian education system of being fixated on IITs, Tuitions, cramming for exams etc., instead of the kid enjoying and learning life. It is just the principle of efficient markets - unless there was a need, the markets of tuitions wouldn’t have flourished as it is today. Parents are the ones to blame - they fear that their kid is going to lose out on top education, and hence pour out their life savings in educating them. We have turned Education into a commodity, into a ruthless business. We have forgotten the basis of education - education is for life, and not for a living. Instead, we have negated that basis totally - it is only for a living and nothing else. For me, treating the kids to bookish knowledge from 9 to 9 kills their creativity - and that would be a blunder of enormous proportions in the long run!

P.S - I have heard stories of many parents (and some who are my friends) promising that they would not subject their kids through this rigorous system, but would let them develop ‘freely and creatively’ - not pressurizing them into studies. However, once the kid touches the age of 3, these parents automatically switch their mode to ‘keeping up with Mrs. Vermas’ - so much for their tall and empty promises of ‘freely and creatively’.

Looking back, I am extremely grateful to my parents for letting me truly develop ‘freely and creatively’ - for not once did they say ‘Beta, you should get first rank - look at the other guy’, ‘Beta, you should study more - don’t play cricket’! I did get a stare from my father though - just once, a stare, no words - when I came back from a cricket match at 8 in the night, with my Mathematics 10th board exam the next day [I think the stare was his fear of ‘Oh dear! This guy is gonna flunk his exam tomorrow ]

Update: My analysis of Budget 2008-09 published here (Budget 2009-2009 - A Bird’s eye view)

1) I have been thinking about what to blog a lot lately. Not that I am short of topics - I have got three blogs which are work-in-progress and will come up anytime soon. However, what beats me nowadays is that I have started thinking ‘What is the reader expecting from my blog?’ quite a lot. This realization has not dawned on me suddenly, but over a period of time. One reader who mails me about how the short story could have been treated differently, one friend who calls me and says that he loved the twist in the end, another reader who offers her perspective on some topics I have dealt with - I can go on and on. I cannot boast of a terrific readership (not as yet) - but my blog has around 1400 hits in a couple of months, which I feel is okish, but still a decent number of readers. Is it a problem of managing expectations? Hmm. It is all very well to say ‘Ah! don’t bother about your readers. You just enjoy your writing, readers would come anyways’, ‘This blog is yours, to let out your thoughts, not to cater to other’s interests and expectations’ and all such. I would have repeated the exact two lines I quoted above if you had come to me with this dilemma. And no, no writer’s block as such (that is such a oxymoron - writer’s block, eh? I mean, unless you have written reams and reams of stories and your imagination has dried up to such an extent - then say, I have got a writer’s block. Otherwise, it is pure laziness - not wanting to imagine, not wanting to write - put in literary terms (in an insulting way!)). I think it’s funny in a way- I know the problem (or do I?) and I know the solution (definitely do!) - so what exactly is my problem here?

2) Trust - I can dedicate a whole blog to this particular topic. I will, however, just deal with it in a few sentences here. Sometimes when people place so much trust in you, that they reveal their deepest, darkest secrets to you - I just go ‘whoa?! why did you even tell me that?’. Frankly, it feels more of a burden than happiness that they have trusted you with such a part of them. A colleague who had a baby very recently, comes up to me and talks about his ex and his current married life and how some of his baby’s features resemble his ex. A friend calls up and dumps all her feelings of how her honeymoon went sour etc etc. I can tell from their body language (shivering and their voice quivering) that they might be sharing it for the first time and didn’t know how to convey. These people are not my best friends (and I don’t think your best friends might even tell you about the above examples, even if they happen to them!) but colleagues, friends whom I hardly know. Yet they trust - for reasons totally unknown to me. Funny thing is, I don’t even know how to react when they come up with such things. I am like ‘Err…Oh…Why…mmm…Oh..yaa…mmm’. Totally dumbfounded.

3) Death of Yahoo messenger - How long has it been since you chatted through yahoo messenger? For me, it’s been more than a year now. After the advent of Gmail and Gtalk integration with Gmail - there was only one way yahoo messenger was going - down. However, I do have fond memories of using the yahoo IM. I still remember, I was so excited using all those emoticons in every other line when I first started. Friends’ lists, groups, group chats - it was all so much fun. When I look at Yahoo IM now, it’s more akin to a dilapidated building with all its structure but no life of its own. Most of my friends and colleagues are on Google IM, and they hardly (if ever) open Yahoo IM. Internet penetration, both in terms of access and cost along with Google’s brilliance has just spelt death knell for Yahoo IM. Yahoo IM is dead, Long live Yahoo IM!

I thought and thought yesterday
About a poem I wanted to write
‘Sine Valentine’ I wanted to name it
Never far from my thoughts,
Was a smile of yours
Lost in your smile and thoughts
I fell asleep, like a little kid
Calm, Serene Sleep.

I met you today
Without much fanfare and gifts
For a morbid fear had swept me
I said ‘Thank god! I met you.
I dreamt of my worst fear
That I could wish my valentine
Only through Orkut’
‘I am your love forever, you idiot’, you replied!
I was all glee.

The lunch was the best part of today
For we could converse face-to-face
Rather than the movie, where
We had to face a screen, and not each other
Although I would admit holding hands
In a dark place was much more fun
What with the sardar shouting,
‘Oyi, let us have some fun’

We never met for long, did we?
But the day passed on brilliantly
The hug at the end said it all
Nothing could separate us, for
‘We are made for each other dear’ you replied!

The alarm rang
I sprung up, wondering what happened
Then, I realized I had dreamt
And my worst fear had come true.
‘What do you gain by remembering?’ they asked
‘Nothing to be gained from remembering,
hurting, why, not even dying!’ I replied.

I was determined to love you
like I had loved no one else.
How I never stopped loving you,
and how I always will.
Etc., etc., etc.,
Except that no one writes
a poem with etcetera in it.

Happy Valentine’s Day folks! Now, now, before you kill me for the terrible poetry - this is the day of love; so in your magnanimity, kindly excuse.
(For guys who have been stalking me on Gtalk, this might sound a bit trite) I have just made some money by selling stones to political parties who wanted to throw them at various Archies shops, shouting ‘THIS IS AGAINST OUR CULTURE’! This day is so much fun…yuhoooo!! Wish you all a fantastic dreamy valentine!

Update: This news update has actually made my day - what with the prophecy of this article of mine beginning to turn true (Ah! So much for the joy of analysis - although, as the days progress, the possibility of a counter-offer from Microsoft increases dramatically)

A long due post. I was trying to do justice to the topic for quite some time now - seeking an answer to this Catch-22 situation, but still can’t. The following is just a series of thoughts, for which necessarily I have to behave as an economist - 50% on one hand and 50% on another.

As has become the routine nowadays, I drive down to the nearest shopping mall to pick up groceries for the week. The shopping mall is essentially a hypermarket of all goods that exist on Planet Earth, aggregated on a mini-basis. The choices I encounter there is staggering. I can choose from 30 different kinds of shampoo, 10 different kinds of oil, 40 different kinds of biscuits, 7 different varieties of apples, 25 different kinds of cheese and last but not the least, 18 different kinds of toilet paper. The first time I saw such variety, I was pleased and flummoxed at the same time - and those are precisely the feelings that have lead to this Catch-22 situation.

On one hand, I am thoroughly pleased. Those choices cater to my individual tastes. Some marketer has actually thought of selling 15 different kinds of moisturizers - one for ‘normal skin’, another for ‘dry skin’, ‘healthy skin’, ‘normal skin with extra moisturizer’ etc etc. The consumer can pick up a moisturizer which exactly suits his/her skin. Imagine a situation (which was a reality some years ago), where we had only one kind of toothbrush, one kind of schoolbag and every good of only one variety - we necessarily did not have a choice but to buy them. Times change, choices multiply.

It is surprising how opening up India to international markets has brought about such a sweeping change in the country. A country - where I had to wait 3 months before I get a landline connection before, I have now got 3 choices for an instant connection. A country - where the waiting time for a scooter was 7 years, I can now drive a much better vehicle from the showroom today itself. A country - where prices were highly regulated in terms of vegetables and groceries, we now have food marts which cater to every need at different prices.

We now have different industries where we can work. We can now be gainfully employed in different companies, in different countries for entirely different skills. The kind of choice in education is simply mind-blowing. 20 years back, education was limited to Engineering, Medical or the Army. Now, we have multiple choices - from exotic vocations like designing beds for pets to call centers to the most generic of all, the IT industry. The kind of money we can make in different fields is only limited by your ambition. Multiple employers waiting to hire you - and you have choices to make, for good. We have indeed come a long way in having multiple choices for every need in life.

Yet, the very same choices are baffling. It is very difficult to come to terms with choice, if you exactly don’t know what to do, or what you want.* The hypermarket example - how do I know if my skin needs only ‘normal moisturizer’ or ‘normal moisturizer with extra oil’. Vehicle purchase - how do I know which vehicle exactly suits my need? Education - Do I want to do an MBA immediately after Engineering or should I work for a few more years before I venture to do an MBA? Profession - which job would give me satisfaction? What kind of salary would I be satisfied with?

Did I/Do I know the answers to all these questions? I think not.

When I speak to my older relatives, grandmas/grandpas, parents - they were necessarily very satisfied and happy when they were at my age, or so I think. They didn’t have to deal with all such complexities - what do I study next, where should my next job be, which country should I go next, where do I settle, how much money is enough? I don’t think they had to think through and make all these decisions since they didn’t have choices. There was Engineering to do, Government job to take up, a House to be bought in the city and Pension money to live with for the rest of their lives. So simple, so linear - very efficient, thoroughly satisfied.

There have been hundreds of studies which proved that choices beyond a point are bound to throw humans into a psychological condition called ‘decision paralysis’. Yet, I want more choice - choice in everything and anything, so that I can choose what I want (vanity you see, I want make my own decisions and decide what’s best for me). Free markets have definitely made life easier in terms of market offerings but have necessarily bound humanity to make decisions at every step of their life and hence making life more complicated. As I said at the beginning of the post, I still haven’t a clue of achieving the optimal state, whatever that might mean.
* The emphasis I think is the crux to solve this problem of Choice. But then, if I knew exactly what to do, when to do and how to do - I would be God, wouldn’t I?

P.S -

1) There really isn’t a Catch-22, is there? I actually don’t have a choice about the choices available in hypermarket, education, career etc. - I just have to deal with the complexity, whether I like it or not.

2) My take on the Microsoft-Yahoo battle published here.

Random personal rambling. Go away!!

We share a special relationship, C and I.

It all began in the second year of Engineering, way back in the year 2000. We were this enthusiastic bunch of people who were gung-ho about the IEEE student organization in the college - more so, because it gave us an official reason to bunk classes. C and I were from different classes, and although we would meet and talk - I never imagined that she would fit anywhere in my scheme of friends. It was a typical acquaintance-friendship which you kind of assumed would eventually taper off after Engineering.

However, it wasn’t until the year 2002, when C and I were in this group of paper-presenters to BITS-PILANI that I really got to know her quite. The entire trip was one rollicking fun (I don’t remember laughing as much in this trip along with the trip I made to REC Warangal prior to this one till date). The comfort level with this entire group grew tremendously, along with understanding C with her quirks and habits. As I knew her back then, she was a bright girl, too lazy to study but very enthusiastic to learn - and that impression holds till date (yeah, probably make that tooo lazy for today!)

Then came CAT preparations - we were put up at one center to write the mocks. C, I along with one common friend used to chit-chat about everything under the sun, but CAT. The entire group of test takers in the room (other than us) used to look down on us (probably even smirk, and call us names) - but insensitive as we were (and are) to the world’s views, we happily ignored them and probably continued to chat even more vigorously.

Life did take us to different destinations for the next two years after Engineering - but we met again in Mumbai. This time, she was at IIT and I was put up in an apartment very close to IIT. This effectively entailed that we meet every other day - take a walk down the beautiful, winding IIT campus (I used to hate those walks, she used to love them), sit on a bench just beside the lake and talk philosophy (for eg., what is the purpose of life? etc (scary, no?)), eat out in almost all the restaurants in and around IIT, dinner at The Taj on whim (was my little dream to have dinner at Taj and she pushed it to reality) among many other million things. During this period, we got to know each other very well (most of the time, eye-contact was enough to guess what was on the other’s mind) - I thought I was absolutely crazy with some of my thought processes and hence very unique; I was totally surprised to find a crazier reflection of mine in her J

In the course of time - which was last year and on this date (January 24^th), she got married to a handsome young man P. It’s been one year since - and this one year went in a blink, hopefully has been brilliant for both of you. I had this good fortune (actually, they had the good fortune to host me ;)) to camp at their place for dinner for almost 3 months (I know, I know - shameless; tell me something I don’t know!), where I got to know P much better - you guys make for a fantastic couple and I wish you a happy married life for many many years to come.

The dinner at Taj, birthday on Marine drive, sumptuous dinner many a time, being there for me when I most needed you and many more things in life - you’ve made things with this friendship I never thought were possible. For the risk of sounding childish, let me just say that there are only few ‘true’ best friends - and you just top the list!

C- I also want you to know that our lives will continue to change in the years to come, like it has these last few years. People will come in and go out of our lives, and we will continue to forgive, forget and move on, trying desperately to seek the happiness that we believe is ours. And though I hope not, there may even come a time when you and I may go on for years without as much a single thought about each other very deeply.

If that does happen, I hope all this comes back to us someday. Many, many years later, when we’re old and unwanted, staring into the starlit sky sitting on a bench across a lake -

I want you think of me then and
let your eyes swell up a little
and if your pride permits
maybe even shed a tear

for all the memories we have shared,
good, bad and the ugly
for you C
A Thousand times over!