We all have had our Aha moments; something akin to Archimedes ‘Eureka’, though with the clothes on (hopefully!). Yesterday’s Aha moment was somehow special.

I never understood the term ‘love’. People - neighbours, friends and relatives spoke eloquently as well as disparagingly about this term called ‘love’ - unconditional liking is love, love is infinite, there is nothing called love, strength of love, love is blind…and so on and so forth. I, for one, could never get to terms with what it exactly meant. There have been times in my past relationship(s) that I have said ‘I love you’ - although I didn’t understand completely what it meant. I used the phrase in flippant moments, intense moments or just as simple as saying goodbye. I specifically did not know where like, love and lust draw their lines - for me, they were completely blurred.

However, during my sojourn in the blog world yesterday, I came across two quotes which gave me the clarity that noone else could in the past -

The first one -

“Thus love can make us disregard most defects and deficiencies, and make us deal with blemishes as though they were embellishments-even when, as Shakespeare said, we still may be partly aware of them:
When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies.”

The second one, by Richard Feynman, in a totally different context -

“That was the beginning and the idea seemed so obvious to me that I fell deeply in love with it. And, like falling in love with a woman, it is only possible if you don’t know too much about her, so you cannot see her faults. The faults will become apparent later, but after the love is strong enough to hold you to her.”

When I read, re-read and again re-read the two quotes to-gether - it was all apparent to me. I was so overjoyed by the amount of clarity it provided that I immediately pinged couple of my friends who were online with these two quotes, and they agreed completely (or the cynic might read the quotes as ‘Don’t deceive yourself, stupid!’ But, we’ll ignore him for the purposes of this blog). Now, when I atleast have the clarity (if not the complete understanding) of the term, and I look back at my past, everytime I used the phrase ‘I love you’, I realize that I well and truly meant it with all my heart.

Onto some introspection - I undertook the world-famous Myers-Briggs test some time back. In that particular test, the result was that I think more with my head than with my heart. In simpler terms, I believe and trust more in logic than emotions. That is very true - I get convinced most of the time through cold logic, but hardly through emotions. And till yesterday, I believed that there is indeed a separation between ‘thinking with your head’ and ‘thinking with your heart’. I was told earlier that ‘love’ is meant to be emotional, your heart is involved etc. etc. I was convinced, and yet for a predominantly ‘thinking with head’ person like me, I wondered how come I was in love. However, after today’s Aha moment, I realize that this ‘thinking with head’ vs ‘thinking with heart’ is a bunch load of bullcrap (no offense meant to Myers-Briggs). However, to be fair to them, I think the distinction only kicks in when there is no clarity. Lack of clarity in personal or professional lives leads to the distinction (and hence the research) of predominantly ‘thinking with head’ or ‘thinking with heart’. Lesson learnt: Try achieving clarity in every aspect of life - the dilemma of head vs heart disappears on its own.

So, there - my ‘Aha’ or the Archimedes ‘Eureka’ - might be obvious to many but definitely enlightening to me. [and yes, I  took an example of a very narrow definition of love.  I can expand the similar concept to parents, relatives, close friends etc.]

Heaven and Hell; Life and Near-death; Tolerable and Intolerable; Intelligence and Dumbness; Bearable and Unbearable;

The question for the day is ‘What is common among all these pairs of terms, other than opposites?’

My answer would be ‘Morons who got their better halves into the same company, or even worse, same project as theirs - did they actually think it would turn out to be the positive opposite? Really? What were they thinking?’

For the sake of simplicity, I use the male pronoun herein. The following is equally applicable to the female pronoun too [If only defeating sexism were as simple as throwing in an occasional he/she, her or hers. Kindly don't look for sexism where none exists].

As has been the sad case over thousands of years now, people have been getting married. What is even more pathetic nowadays is that they are getting married to a person who is in the same profession! Even worse, same company and the most blinding wonder of wonders, same project. Seriously dude, what were you thinking? Has your IQ turned negative? Or, are you on a mission to reach unsurpassed stupidity? What exactly is your problem that you committed such a colossal blunder?

From an Indian perspective (and is equally applicable to almost all nations), the boom in IT industry has created major behemoths who employ close to a million people. This in turn has affected the marriage market in unimaginable proportions. Apart from creating various love-bird colonies in almost every campus, this IT boom has affected the arranged marriage market in a profound manner. A sample conversation between three parents -

Parent1: My daughter did her B.Com. She is now working in a call center

Parent2: Oh! B.Com aa…My son did his Engineering. Now he is in software. We are looking for a software girl who can understand his work too.

(software girl…wtf?!)

Parent3: True, just like platform-language compatibility, the kids should also be compatible in their own sectors…like software…hahahahh!

Parent1: Yes, yes…I am sending my daughter to computer coaching. She will also join a software company very soon…nowadays who wants to work in retail shop or manufacturing plant I say!

That being the case of parents, most of the marriages are happening between IT professionals. As far as I am concerned, since the majority market (and I use the term ‘market’ in the truest sense, no insult here!) is in IT now, I don’t see an issue why the couples shouldn’t be in the same profession. But imagine the conversations at home:

Guy: So, can we go to Gopal’s function now?

Girl: Ahh, I think I can’t make it…I have a problem with this Oracle database…can you help me out here?

Guy: Oh sure sweetheart! So, what exactly is the problem…is there a problem with the Extract process, the Transform process or the Load process!

Isn’t that sad to say the least?

What is even more depressing is if they are working for the same company. ‘Ahh, they go in the same car, they go-together, come to-gether - they save on petrol as well as they spend more time to-gether, how nice!’ and ‘Awww, chooo chweet, no?’ are statements we tend to hear. Firstly, No, it is not sweet…what’s more, the guy is probably going through the worst torture in his life. Don’t get me wrong here - I think a couple working in the same company is absolutely fantastic…as a concept. Practically, it would drive most guys insane.

When Einstein spoke about the infiniteness of human stupidity, I am sure he was referring to guys who have their spouses in the same project as theirs. Imagine a jail - same thing; in fact, even worse. Imagine a noose around you 24×7, office and home - like heaven and hell being one and the same. Absolutely no privacy, and every move being monitored, analyzed and feedback duly passed. The better thing to do here would be to choke themselves rather than get into this afflictment. As Shakespeare says in the Twelfth Night, ‘Observe these guys, for the love of mockery’. Actually, ‘whole-hearted sympathy; is the phrase to used for such people - I like their approach, but definitely would love to see their departure from my sight.

P.S: This blog’s topic was a random idea my supervisor had come up with. All credit to her

A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
‘When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you’re 42-42-42. There’s more of you, but you are not worth as much.’
- Lord Barnett

That my dear friends, is the essence of the devil called inflation. In more complex terms, and hence economically speaking, Inflation is a rise in general level of prices of goods and services over time. There are many measures of inflation - the Consumer Price Index (CPI), the Wholesale Price Index (WPI) and then there is the GDP deflator and then there is Excess of money supply - in short, economic and finance newspapers make every effort to confuse the common man using such jargon, thereby making money, instead of explaining it through a simple Lord Barnett’s joke which everyone would have understood. [Feminists who can't see the joke in it can go take a hike, and probably buy The Economic Times or The Wallstreet journal]

I like Zimbabwe. No, not the cricket team - they suck big time. I love their penchant for huge numbers. Nowadays, they only talk in millions, billions and trillions. Rich country perhaps. For example, their inflation is just 2 million percent according to the latest figures. Look at that number, isn’t that music for any Finance minister of the country? Or for instance, look at this bill for one dinner - isn’t this fantastic? How rich must the people be to write a 1.2 billion Z$ cheque? And how much would you tip the waiter on this bill? Wow, the calculation in itself is mind-boggling. Wonder how the Zimbabweans do this day in and day out? They certainly love huge numbers - the bill and the inflation are living proof of it. We should all seriously consider moving to Zimbabwe if we ever want to grow rich…or atleast feel rich.

And what is the inflation in India as per latest figures? A paltry 11.42%. How much does this 11 and some change percentage measure up against 2 million percent? Our inflation pales in comparison. No wonder that still 40% of our population is below poverty line. Tchah! And can we even dream of writing a million rupee cheque for one dinner, forget a 1.2 billion rupee cheque? Nope, not in my lifetime atleast. Such sad state of affairs. On top of that, the media goes gung-ho about inflation over-shooting, food prices rising beyond our means and all that crap - ah, the media is so dumb! Why doesn’t someone direct them towards the map of Zimbabwe I say! [And not to speak of the country I currently live in - USA - inflation is a trivial 4% and the whole country is almost in tears and tatters! Uh!]

The government proves my assumption time and again - they are just a bunch of jokers. I sincerely wish for some meritocracy instead of this bizarre bureaucracy.

Let me not even start speaking of the effects of inflation on Zimbabwe. If everything was set right today, the country would take atleast 10-15 years to recover - and I don’t see that happening in the near future atleast. 2 million percent of inflation is something like - the robber asking the passenger in the train: “Hurry, give me the money, before it loses more value” or the realistic situation of giving two gunny bags of money to buy one loaf of bread.

But what is wrong with the Indian and US media? Isn’t the increase or decrease of inflation a normal part of every country’s economic cycle? Shouldn’t the media analyse what are the causes of inflation? Is the artificial price of Oil (currently at $142 a barrel - inspite of major supplies being held up in Persian Gulf due to political reasons) a cause for worry? Isn’t the sudden increase of food prices a direct effect on some of the insane economic policies undertaken (like the one to produce Ethanol through corn, a staple food) or due to large-scale hoarding by merchants in India? And seriously, any inflation above 6-8% is not worth reporting. Unless a country is in deep economic problems, the rate of inflation is always going to come down very soon from these double-digit percentages - sensationalizing issues when there are none has become a habit, leading to dire consequences.

I suggest the media take a chill pill, rest for a month or so and then comment on inflation. Experts say this inflation is a bubble and there is only a requirement for a prick for the bubble to burst. I sincerely hope this prick, whoever he/she is arrives soon enough and douses this mindless fear and fire for good.

1) Back after the longest gap in my blogging history of 3 years. There was really no reason nor excuse why I didn’t or couldn’t blog. I was working my back off for the past 3 weeks, including weekends; my online life of Orkut, Twitter, Gtalk and others have been dormant to say the least - but heck, I had time to talk to my friends, read a book etc., but didn’t have time to blog. It was not really the issue of I didn’t want to blog - rather, it was this notion of coming up with a blog every Sunday evening, every week - and I just couldn’t resist looking away from my laptop on every Sunday evening for the past 3 weeks. Heart of hearts, probably didn’t want to blog - but most probably too lazy to blog.

2) Interesting things happened over the past 3 weeks. The first of the lot is that I got hooked to ‘Leave it to Psmith’ by PG Wodehouse. I have read PGW before, but this book was something else. The sheer hilarity, brilliant use of metaphors and the twisted situations in the book was immensely enjoyable. Definitely recommend it to anyone who has an inclination for PGW’s style of humor. Awesome.

3) Bloopers on chat conversations are hilarious. What makes it even more enjoyable is that you can only imagine the other person’s reactions - and imagination, for what it is, is wild. I have committed as well as faced many bloopers, but since this blog is restricted to the past 3 weeks, I had this wonderful encounter with a lady friend of mine (I digress, but I am having immense difficulty coining a word for a girl who is in her late 20s but unmarried - teen is stupid, girl sounds young, lady sounds old, woman sounds insulting and female sounds degrading…any thoughts?) on the office communicator. She is based out of India, in the same assignment as mine and the following conversation ensued -

Her: Hey! Wassup?

Me: Hey! How u doing? Nothing much, same as usual.

Her: Ahh…it’s so boring here ya!

Me: Come here (as in..to the US)…and I’ll have atleast someone interesting to go out with.

Her: I’d love you

Me: really?? wah!

Her (hurriedly): I’d love to, I’d love to…sorry sorry!

Me: naah, you don’t have to correct yourself, I didn’t get offended

Her: ya ya ya these bloopers I tell ya…dangerous!!

Me: ahh…damnnn! For a moment, I was the happiest guy in the world!

Her: Heheh!

Me:

4) The past weekend, my organization set up a leadership training programme for the entire 2 days, 8:30 - 6:00. I am one of the millions in the world, who tend to believe that waking up before 8 on weekends is a crime, if not an offence. However, I dragged my feet along to this training, and expected myself to laze around in the programme, wake up on Monday morning and turn out to be the biggest and most influential leader my organization has ever seen. Fortunately, that was not to be and I ended up listening to most of the programme, which was conducted by one Mr. A. However, A had an interesting word he would throw more often than not. Some samples -

- I am going to give you a fantastic case study, which offers some fantastic insights and which will lead you to fantastic solutions.

- I am about to tell you a fantastic example about this fantastic guy who did this fantastic thing.

Not to mention his most commonly used word, the entire programme was fantastic..err…great, thanks to Mr. A!

5) I have observed for the past three years that my blog undergoes some sort of rejuvenation once in a while, especially when I take such a long break. Hopefully, this break will steer the blog in a slightly different direction, making the reading experience more enjoyable than before. (too much funda, no? )

Now that the seemingly-never-ending IPL tournament has ended, albeit with lot of brouhaha during the closing ceremony and a fantastic final match (by some quirky turn of fate, every IPL tournament’s final is a very close contest – IPL World Cup final, ICL final and now this!) – it is time we take stock of how different sets of people would react to the end of what has been the most exciting tournament in a long long time.

Men in India: For one and half months, they were not short of entertainment between 8PM-11PM. On some days, there were two matches on the same day. It was ‘more the merrier’ for this particular set of people. They used to come back from work/colege, take some rest and watch the entire match till they dozed off to sleep. Getting used to T20 cricket is like getting used to marijuana – the more you have, the more you want. From today, these men would have no entertainment, nothing to look forward to at night. Their evenings would once again turn into a dull-drab affair. They would begin to ask questions about how unfair the tournament was, in that it ended only after one and half months. As with all other issues in life, they would lament themselves in the men-only group at work/college.

Women in India: This set is the most excited of all that this tournament has finally ended. They were the biggest opposition of IPL since it was slotted in prime-time and hence not allowing women to watch their serials – serials which usually continue for approximately 4 years with infinite number of saas and bahus, 257 relatives and 100 children, all in a gigantic house where almost every other day there is a festival/death. Women had to bear the brunt of cricket being discussed all day all night at home – driving them close to insanity. How could they miss their daily dose of tears from Tulsi and evil shenanigans from various other stupid bahuraanis? Alas, they found out at the end of IPL that producers of these serials did not take the story forward by much during the past one and half month (as they did for the past one and half years) – they rub their hands in glee at the prospect of watching all serials all night till another cricket tournament takes over.

Desis in the US: IPL was a topic of much elation, with heated arguments and discussions – taking place during the most productive hours at work – from 1030 to 1330. Battlelines were drawn between states and the respective teams. Completion of deadlines was secondary to discussing the latest goofup in team selections or the brilliance of a new strategy. Each one pitched in with their own theories and best practices in T20 cricket, unmindful of the frenzied atmosphere of NCAA/NBA championships around in the US. Weekends were a breeze – with two matches on every day of the weekend (and with benevolent softwares like Sopcast and TVUplayer), it was one big party for one and half month.

Politicians: (Yes, they are usually neither Men nor Women!) Last heard they were bickering about reservations in the IPL teams. Karunanidhi was especially upset that Chennai Super Kings lost to an unknown desert team Rajasthan Royals, and decided to take up the matter with the unMan-mohan singh, calling in for reservations and progress of the Tamizh state. Vasundhara Raje for her part has declared that Royals win has been a befitting reply to the wily terrorists who dare to blow bombs in Jaipur to cause impact to maximum number of people. Rahul Gandhi has called for a greater cohesion in the Congress party much like Rajasthan Royals and Chennai Super kings but not like Deccan Chargers and Bangalore Royal Challengers. Prathibha tai (in case you forgot, she is our Honorable President) has decided to talk with ghosts and spirits to help Delhi Daredevils win next time.

As the IPL drew to a close, much like the primaries in the US – President Bush sat smiling in the White House watching IPL and the primaries on two different television sets asking himself, ‘Now, how and where should I seek fun? Maybe I will bomb another country before November’ and proceeded to call his Generals to the White house!

]]> http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/ipl-out-boredom-in/feed/ http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/memorable-memorial-day-at-boston/ http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/memorable-memorial-day-at-boston/#comments Thu, 29 May 2008 02:55:46 +0000 dkirand http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/?p=98

After this kind of trip, the long weekend of Memorial day was to be spent relaxing – and boy, were we relaxed at the end of the long weekend!

If the last trip was ‘heights of planning’ where we planned almost every half day, this trip was one of spontaneity and uncertainty. I had booked tickets to Boston probably a month before the long weekend, while S and Sre dropped out of the long weekend plans due to unavoidable circumstances. The long weekend was vague at the start of every day, not knowing what to do in the next 6 hrs but slowly and surely gaining momentum as the day progressed – it was ‘living in the present’ taken to the extreme. It was fantastic fun – did many things that I never thought I would do, talked about so many topics that I lost count and spent time talking (actually, talking and talking and talking) to one of my best friends for the best part of 4 days.

I landed in Boston on Friday at P’s place. Work-from-home was the order of the day. Little work done and lot of time spent sleeping; it was work-from-home at its best. P and I have been going through quite a busy schedule on the professional front and we decided to explicitly not make this trip strenuous. We decided to put up at Boston itself and roam around to see what we could do best. I met one of P’s friends, T – a very interesting chap and became a very good friend of mine in a short period of time. Friday passed without a whimper but loads of discussion, points and counter-points on infinite topics ranging from physics to engineering to religion and politics (and the discussions continued pretty much for the next 4 days).

As I said, the unspoken theme of the trip was ‘living in the present’. Saturday, we suddenly out-of-the-blue decided, we had to do rafting and if possible, sky-diving. And for this, we had to drive down to Maine since the places near Boston to do such activities were booked for the long weekend. Maine, they say is a very beautiful state in the US, but it was a 5 hr drive from Boston. We decided to ditch Maine. Instead, T played a movie at his place ‘Dan in real life’, which probably would go down as one of the most illogical and insane romantic stories I have ever watched till date. T and P were intensely grossed in the movie, seemingly taken in by the emotions and feelings of the different characters. For me, it was a movie whose only goal was to attain unsurpassed stupidity. We subsequently embarked on our tour of Boston downtown where we took long walks on different bridges and had dinner at the Quincy center (if you are by any chance at the Quincy center, do not have Japanese veg food – ‘pathetic’ is probably a praise for the food. It was rice and tomato ketchup that we had, along with some fried cabbage!) Boston downtown is beautiful at night, especially with the reflection of its skyline on the Charles River. Traffic and noise level were down to a minimum and it was time well spent in the midst of all the chatter and banter.

Sunday was the day of glorious uncertainties. As was the case, we woke up with nothing to do. We suddenly hit upon the idea of playing Golf on a hot Sunday afternoon. The idea sounded exciting, but there was one problem. We didn’t even know the G of Golf. I, for one have never watched nor tried to understood the seemingly boring game of Golf. As Mark Twain said, ‘Golf is a good walk spoiled’. I had agreed to that statement, before I stepped onto the Golf course. We called into one of the beginners Golf courses and learnt the terminology of Golf clubs, balls, tees and pars. The perception that Golf was a costly game was broken when we rented Golf clubs and played a 9-hole course for just $17. With a few important pointers from a good samaritan, we started on our Golf journey which was thoroughly refreshing and exciting although we were playing in 80F heat. I and P matched shot for shot and we got a score of 54, which on a 9-hole course is not bad at all by some standards for absolute beginners. We subsequently proceeded to a Chinese restaurant, had our lunch and decided to go karting. As was the case again, the plan was dropped in favor of another game of golf, this time at a more challenging course (yes, we are totally over-confident ) We played another 9-hole till it got dark, and in the process lost 10 balls and our stamina. It is a tiring game if you have to walk for around 5 miles in the hot sun, learn the game and shoot the ball into a hole (sounds too much of work, but believe me, its an experience to cherish). To round off another day, we watched ‘What Women Want’ and needless to say, Helen Hunt made my day (yes, better than the golf )

The final day of the trip was no different and this time we decided to proceed to the Hopkinton State Park to do kayaking. Hopkinton State Park was about 20 minutes from P’s place. It was a beautiful drive and the Park was slightly crowded. The lake in the Park was vast and there was a strong wind blowing. (I digress, but there were a group of Mexicans and Puerto Ricans who had come along to Kayak in their little-little dresses. My friend said ‘Oh boy! Aren’t they hot? I replied, ‘Not just hot, they are sluuuurrppp, sluuuurpppp hot’ ) Kayaking in the face of strong winds and quirky changing currents was a lot of fun and 3 miles of kayaking had drained us out totally. We went back home and just crashed for 2 hrs. We subsequently proceeded to the Harvard square where we visited the famed Harvard university (which included visiting the Harvard Arts and Science center and Harvard Business school, and touching the toe of John Harvard (which sounded silly to me, considering American traditions!)). P owed me a drink (not really owed, but yeah, I would take pride in calling it that!) and he took us to this place called ‘Top of the Hub’ in the evening. ‘Top of the Hub’ is a bar and restaurant, on the 52^nd floor in Prudential towers, essentially overlooking entire Boston. It was a breathtaking sight at night and a good Italian dinner of Sphagetti and Lasagna made our day.

I had to take leave very early the next day and P and I had little time to say goodbyes. I, for one, enjoyed the trip so thoroughly amidst all the chaos of ‘what to do’ every morning. It was relaxing yet exciting. P was, is and will be an enjoyable company always. The highlight however was meeting T, who was funny, talkative and great company. I do hope he would be a part of many more trips that I and P would be a part of. The long weekend of Memorial day was indeed very memorable.

Another city, another set of bomb blasts – same set of statements repeated by politicians, police and the media alike; it is seeming more and more like the good ol’ Doordarshan repeat of movies/serials. Hyderabad then, Jaipur now – concurrent blasts, same set of devices, same kind of networking and probably similar number of people killed. How often do we hear that ‘History repeats itself’; I have seen history repeat itself twice over now.

Terrorists (jihadis) who are paid/motivated to cause such disruptions aside, let us look at three fundamental angles to this issue –

1) Politicians: What do we call a bunch of politicians? I say, let’s start calling them ‘A swarm of incompetence’. We often had the same dialogues repeated over and over, irrespective of which party is in power (seems like they have had a common scriptwriter in the Parliament)

‘The terrorists will be firmly dealt with’ (with what, chocolates?)

‘The intent of the terrorists was to cause maximum damage to human life. We will not tolerate such acts of cruelty’ (how surprising!)

Let’s not try to blame them for a moment, shall we? I mean why blame them, if they are not the ones who had/have perpetrated the crime? They cannot leave their all-important job of taking bribes (oops, gifts!) and go after these blood-sucking criminals, can they?

Let’s try to look at it from their perspective. Why at all should they be driven to protect their citizens in a zealous manner from bomb blasts and terrorists? Was a political party ever voted out of power because they did not provide proper safety to their citizens? Or were they voted out of power because the price of onions/rice/wheat rose dramatically? [FYI, BJP was voted out for rise in price of onions in a state]. The incentives are very clear to the politicians too. Every human being is driven by incentives, and the politicians, more so. Let’s not try to get into the moral argument of ‘they were voted into power to secure the lives of citizens’. They were voted into power to do many other things, but they don’t. Police and intelligence were recruited to do this kind of job, not the politicians. Blaming them recklessly would not lead to any fruitful results. What we need to do however - is find a way to incentivise saving of lives, incentivise preventing bomb blasts and then observe positive results automatically. Until that happens, we are going to hear many such similar statements, irrespective of the number of bomb blasts that happen.

[I am deliberately avoiding commenting on the Media. As such, nowadays, two monkeys taking care of each other on a tree in a remote village, Abhishek-Aishwarya wedding drama got more coverage than these bomb blasts; not to mention the frenzy over IPL. Ignorance is total bliss in such a scenario. Fools of the infiniteth order!]

2) ‘We’ the People: One word, Apathy! We have grown apathetic to killing, to terrorism and all related carnages. Sad, but true. What is the first thing you do when you hear of bomb blasts? I, for one, watch the news, call up home to check if everything and everyone known to us is Ok and then switch to more interesting channels. Indifference to death, not in the spiritual sense but materially – we hear about deaths in Kashmir, deaths in the North-Eastern (NE) states so regularly, that it has totally dropped out of the news radar. Heck, the daily number of deaths in Kashmir and NE states might be more than the deaths in Jaipur and Hyderabad put to-gether. Do we express a concern? Oh yeah, words of condolences in Jaipur and Hyderabad’s cases, and silence in other scenarios. And, why is apathy bad? Because, this apathy precisely translates into politicians not having to deal with terrorism ‘with a strong hand’ in literal sense, this same apathy doesn’t make us considerate towards ‘curbing terrorism’ while we vote. Alas, we hope to avoid every bomb blast that happens, and pray every day that a bomb doesn’t go somewhere in the world which may affect any of our family members. I sincerely hope we don’t get into a situation where bomb blasts become the order of the day, just like Kashmir and NE states. As preposterous and terribly pessimistic it may sound, if the scenario does come into play, we have only ourselves to blame.

3) ‘What can I do?”: Actually, nothing. I, as an individual cannot make a difference other than write blogs like this, or support a peace rally which probably will not even get noticed/written about. I cringed, while I wrote the above lines – but I do have some cold logic to support my statement (as awful as it may sound, this is probability!).

Consider this - Police and intelligence agencies might have foiled probably 100 attempts of bomb blasts before this became successful. If not 100, it may be 1000. Considering the breadth of India’s geographical boundaries and its porous borders, the probability of success of bomb blasts increases dramatically day by day. This is because we have more ‘probable’ terrorists coming in through the porous borders for almost the same number of field force in police and intelligence agencies. Hence, by default, the police and intelligence are bound to miss on a tip or two – which might lead to blasts like Jaipur and Hyderabad (and as scientists say, there is usually one success for every 1000 failures]. So much for my optimism, agenda, ‘curbing terrorism’ et al, the mathematics is seemingly true. Please feel free to dispute the logic in the comments section. [And please, hope my mathematical argument doesn’t lead you to question ‘Are you asking us to stop working on curbing terrorism because probability (mathematics) says so? Are you nuts?’ – No, I am not suggesting to stop working on ‘curbing terrorism’. In fact, I am only suggesting to increase vigilance dramatically to stop such incidents].

‘Advertising during IPL matches is over the top – the ads start as soon as the 6th ball of one over is bowled and end only during the 1st ball of the next over. It is killing cricket’ – I have heard this over and over for the past many days. But hey, they paid big bucks for putting up their advertisements and they need to get a good return out of it – don’t you think that is fair? The answers might be yes, no and maybe – but this article is not about the authenticity of the advertising in-between overs; rather it is about advertising within the overs. Let’s look at some of the options –

1) Advertising on ‘ball boys’: I find this slightly shocking – how couldn’t marketers look at such an attractive market for grabbing eyeballs of the viewers (considering the golden rule of marketing/advertising is to grab ‘eyeballs’ and hence brand recall)? ‘Ball boys’ are the ones who throw back the ball to the fielders after the ball reaches the boundary. Considering the number of times the ball reaches the boundary in T20 matches, doesn’t it make logical sense to grab eyeballs of all viewers when the camera is focused on the ball reaching the boundary, the ball boy picking it up and throwing back to the bowler? Let’s take the minimum amount of time that one such event happens – let’s say 5 seconds. The average number of times the ball hits the boundary during the course of the match (two innings) is say, 70 times – which implies 350 seconds on/close to the ball boy. That is almost 6 minutes of advertising in prime time of the match – where almost 30-35 ads of approx 10 secs each can fit in. The cost? What would be the cost of sponsoring the dress for ball boys with company’s (or companies) logo imprinted on it? Get them in bulk – and the cost would be next to nothing. The eyeballs it can grab – plenty.

2) Britannia ’single’ and a MRF ‘two’: We have also heard about ‘DLF sixer’ and a ‘Citibank four’ etc. Make no mistake – it’s a very important innovation that has come through, probably only because of T20. Irritating – you bet! But what about ‘brand recall’? Marketers must be rubbing their hands in glee looking at such an innovation. Let’s take this a bit far – how about a ‘Britannia single’, ‘MRF two’ and a ‘Cheetos three’. How about naming some of the bowling/batting ends as ‘Reliance end’ and ‘Birla Sun Life end’? A sample of the commentary would flow something like this –

Daredevils Sehwag has nudged Royals Warne towards the Reliance end - is it going to be a Britannia single, ohh…it is going to be a MRF two…ohh noo, the fielder has misplaced it, probably a Cheetos three…the ball has finally reached the boundary…it is a Citibank four.

The example above is slightly exaggerated, but you get the idea. Advertising during the match (instead of between overs) is much more effective in grabbing eyeballs. You might say ‘Hey, that is irritating advertising’. Oh yeah! Rule number one in Advertising: There is no such thing as good advertising or bad advertising as long as it grabs attention. Rule number two: In case of doubt, refer rule number one.

3) Advertising on Commentators: This is slightly dicy, but it might pay off considering the lower costs associated with it. Instead of the bland plain dresses the commentators wear during the pre-match and post-match analysis, why not tag a ‘Nike’, ‘Reebok’ or any other company logo on their shirts? As long as it doesn’t conflict with the sports broadcaster’s and commentators agreements/commitments (and I don’t think anyone is so stupid to wear a Star shirt on a Sony broadcast – ah! I forget Sidhu!), all the parties involved would be happy (Advertisers for their eyeballs, Broadcasters and Commentators for the extra money that they rake in). Now, the only question is what percentage of match-viewing audience would also watch the pre-match and post-match analysis? I think very few – and hence the earlier logic of lower costs involved in putting up the logo on commentators’ shirts [Me says, get Mandira Bedi with her noodle straps – who in their right minds would miss the pre-match and post-match analysis? I wouldn’t ]

4) Rebirth of Super Selector: During my Engineering days, there was a wonderful programme called ‘Super Selector’. Summarily, it involved selecting a team across the whole bunch of players whom you think would score max runs/take wickets/effect run outs – and depending on that, points would be allocated. The top scorers used to win prizes from Fabmall. The programme was a raging success. I have no idea why this programme was discontinued – but I think it’s a great idea to rev up with this programme for the T20 championships. That would grab the attention of the younger audience (to whom you can pitch in/cross-sell more products, expensive products - and hence better margins], create advertising for the prize-givers and offer prime time slots to showcase the programme along with different advertisements. I did look at some ‘pseudo super selector’ contests on the Internet, but they tend create more junk in your mailbox rather than anything else. Any clue anyone why this programme isn’t yet on the air?

Those were my few thoughts on during-the-match-primetime advertising. Any other ideas?

]]> http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/2008/05/11/advertising-in-ipl/feed/ http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/2008/05/04/two-weeks-later/ http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/2008/05/04/two-weeks-later/#comments Sun, 04 May 2008 22:49:45 +0000 dkirand http://sarvamekam.wordpress.com/?p=95

The past two weeks were hectic, to say the least.

The most awaited movie of the year – Tashan got released. The metaphor in itself is probably the biggest awaited joke of the year. With the movie poster of Tashan looking eerily similar to Covenant, Yash Raj films indicated that this movie was not original even with the initial advertising. However, with the sole aim of watching Kareena Kapoor making a fool of herself, I watched the movie much to my bemusement and embarrassment. Terming the movie as a joke is an insult to the word ‘joke’. Attempting a Kill Bill+Ursula Andress in a bikini show, Kareena failed miserably and so did all the other co-stars (although some credit needs to go to Akshay Kumar). A shaven-bare-chested Anil Kapoor was probably the most shocking surprise of the movie – but his acting prowess (if I might call it that) has sunk from bad to worse with movies like ‘Race’ and ‘Tashan’. Spinning a yarn convincingly requires talent – and although I would accept that movies are no theorem-proof and are a mode of pure escapist entertainment, Tashan is exactly the sort of entertainment you want to escape from oh-so-desperately! A done-to-death childhood-friends-meeting-later concept and the seemingly meaningless run-around made ‘Race’ look much better in terms of quality and delivery. The prosperity of Yash Raj Films was due to their originality and dare – not cheap imitation, mimicry and mediocrity. Statutory Warning: Watching Tashan is injurious to health.

It was also a week where Sreesanth competed for ‘Award for the Biggest Sissie Drama of the Year’ and won it convincingly. A well-known dramatist-cum-patchy bowler to say the least (no, he still can’t compete with Ajit Agarkar for the Worst Bowler Award!! Ajit is miles ahead of him!) had a tete-a-tete with a bowler whose brains had been lent-on-lease indefinitely, with the result of a sweet punch on the jaw which resulted in Sreesanth bawling like…(no, let’s not insult kids like this!). With the way Indian cricket is played, don’t be surprised if you suddenly watch a soap called ‘Kyunki Sreesanth bhi kabhi Cricketer tha’! Sreesanth is the new gamma-male (alpha and beta are taken presumably!) representing India, a male who can cry on screen effortlessly and for no reason at all. He has probably opened up a whole new market for male actors who would also like to cry on screen. Soaps would be abound with the entire 138 members in a family which stays in one bungalow, dressed up in heavy bindis and kurtas sobbing and howling for 3 years straight. Sreesanth – you are just awesome; there will definitely be a role for you in each of these soaps where you can weep to your heart’s content and get paid for it.

And to round the two weeks off, this piece of news ticked me real bad. The summary of the article is that Singh has called for cut in corporate pay packets to eradicate poverty. Is this the same Singh that our economic textbooks extol of being the spearhead for liberalization in 1993? Is this the same Singh that called for extensive all inclusive-growth to eradicate poverty a while back? His call for “self-imposed ceiling on salaries and expenditure as a means to drive down demand and so ease pressure on supplies” is pure gibberish. Article after article in Markets/Economics/Finance demand that there be ‘incentives’ to growth, and here is our Prime Minister calling for a cut in incentives, thereby stunting growth inevitably. With rising prices of commodities every day across the world, a cut in incentives should have been least on Dr. Singh’s radar. Probably the functioning of Congress has got into the head of Dr. Singh – sadly, for a man I respected utmost, he has disappointed me terribly. Wretched is the situation for a man who was held in high-esteem for his forward-looking policies and global attitude to go on a pseudo-communist path - ah! It is such a shame!

Of the many stupid moments and conversations I have been involved in over the past 25 years, some stupid moments stand out - for the sheer ingenuity and willingness to be ‘bakraofied’, some decisions I have taken to be involved in these stupid moments can be classified as stupefyingly stupid, if not downright insane. (Four ‘stupids’ in one paragraph - my English ma’am would never forgive me )

Now that some of my guy friends have got married, I get a chance to meet them only with their wives (don’t ask me whether that’s fortunate or unfortunate), say for lunch/dinner at some restaurants. I tend to avoid meeting them if some other friend is not joining me; that is, I try as hard as I can to make the number of people at the table to be 4, rather than 3. Being human, I am incapacitated sometimes, and inspite of my best efforts, such hard work proves futile. I have to end up being the sole 3^rd member - which unfortunately at a lunch party sometime back I ended up being one, with a friend of mine (R) whom I have known for 7 years. They were married for a month now, and deciding to meet them as the 3^rd member was well…..Anyways, proceeding to the conversation:

The couple is referred to as ‘They’ (although… it was ‘she’ most of the time - typical family I guess - I have a saying, Two bodies, one voice - hers -> and this couple was a personification of that!)

Me: Heyyy, how are you guys doing?!

They: Very well, how are you?

Me: Am doing very good

Me: So, how was the honeymoon n all? And what is this small party ya?!

They: Honeymoon was fantastic…and dude, you didn’t come to the reception - it isn’t our problem exactly you know.

(and that’s probably the last time I heard the guy, my friend…really speak, except for a few nods and some ya’s here and there!)

Me: Haha…true! Caught up with some office work and blah and blah dude - typical stuff you know. Anyways, how was the wedding?

They (yeah…to be fair, it is just ‘she’ from now on): Ohh…wedding was fantastic…with all the jewelery and food and lots of relatives! You should have come - it was just awesome…it’s a incredible experience you know!

Me: (silently, nope…I don’t know) Jewelry, food and RELATIVES…dude, was it that good? (with a wink here!)

They: (she again…my friend has resigned himself to fate) - ohhh yeahh, 3 day function with Sangeet, dance n all…we have captured everything on the video, you gotta see it once!

Me: (whoaa! Save me O Lord! if you had know this, you surely wouldn’t have said that!) Sure thing…absolutely, I will make it to your house to watch the video as soon as I am vexed with my work (or rather life I should have said! )

They: Yeah, sure! That would be a good break…You know what, your friend S accompanied us to this trip to Essel World - he was great fun!

Me: Yeah…sounds great! What did you guys do?

They: Ohh..we boarded many rides…and we as a couple have photographs of almost every ride!

Me: Ohh, I see…so basically, S was your photographer! (added) heheh (so that they don’t feel bad!…and I was thinking I was the bigger fool…S…I tell ya!! )

They: Hahah! (and their smiles turned weird…and my friend got the hint…but too late, he was totally powerless in this slugfest)

Me: (Ah! She understood the sarcasm. Now, we can talk about American politics, Global warming and exhaust the remaining 30 min and then rush out of here!)

They (don’t you forget, its only ‘she’ - ‘They’ is just a misnomer): You know, your friend likes North Indian and Chinese a lot.

Me: Oh really! News to me…dude, I hope you haven’t changed suddenly (He was my friend for 7 years, it’s just been a month with you dear! Ah! I forget, wives are supposed to know more about their husbands than their husband’s long time friends! Apologies!)

They: Yeah! We have been to almost every Chinese and North Indian restaurant in the area - We are just learning cooking, you know!

Me: Hahah…yeah, I agree (and I stare at my friend - he is just giggling out of helplessness rather than anything else!)

They: And your friend is an avid orkutter, and he really likes the sitcom ‘Friends’

Me: Ohhh, really! R, you never told me that (and me winks again - and he is like, dekhlungaa betaa, tujhe dekhlungaa!)

They: And he really seems to know things about dresses - I mean, his selection of my sarees, and other dresses exactly matched my preferences!

Me: (Holy crap! Where is my dessert?!) Ohh, that’s fantastic! You guys are just made for each other from birth I guess.

They: (both giggle off to glory, their eyes locking with each other, seemingly lost in trance of the ethereal world)

Me: Er…umm! Sorry to disturb your privacy…but the bill has arrived (ufff!!)

They: You naughty!! (and R proceeds to pay the bill)

Me: Naughty?!! Wtf!!?

And then, I exit gracefully thanking the host and the hostess for a wonderful and fruitful time spent to-gether, knowing many things about my friend that I already knew and knowing some more things about him (like his silence, for one) that I never knew!

Aarrgghh!!

P.S: How easy it is to think ‘that poor R, he has got such a dominating wife?!’ - Nope, she was just too talkative, and compared to R…wayyy too talkative. And mind you, most of the couples I encounter nowadays are like this only (that is, ‘they’ and ’she’ are interchangeable) (except for the fact that I ensure there is a 4th guy/girl around) - So, nope, all you couples out there - don’t you take a higher moral plane